This morning was rough: I went into C's room and said, "ICE is killing people!" I was shocked, dismayed, crushed by the videos I've been seeing on how ICE is treating people, and worse, using weapons against them and guns to shot and kill people. What is America coming to?
But C didn't quite understand my shock and disbelief. He got a bit angry at my perspective and gave rebuttals. I then gave rebuttals to his rebuttals and next thing I knew it, he was having acid reflux. I stayed calm, but he lost his temper.
Then I shifted the conversation to tell him to not get so angry, and I said it's b/c I'm worried about him and it wasn't about me. He then said he is under pressure from a rich Asian family, a poor white family, having to provide for our new family, having to take care of me, his mom, and our kitty, and I said I want to get a high paying job so I can help, too, help him eventually quit his stressful job.
It was heated, but we cooled down in the end. I said I was sorry but I also said we need to not get angry when we have differing political values: I said I'm a liberal, left-leaning person, and I know how his political views lean. We ended it peacefully and we both calmed down. But it gets scary how angry he can get, not in a violent way, but in a way that will hurt himself. I need him to not get angry at differing political views. He seemed to indirectly agree.
I'm so crushed by what's going on in this country, the more I hear and see, the more I feel so defeated and distraught. Like what in the f? I know not everyone sees this as I do, and there are many who would agree, but I'm not trying to agree with people. I have my own beliefs and decisions and that in it of itself is enough for me.
Sometimes I want to cry it b/c it's too much.
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