It has now hit me that I have a new life. I think it was realizing that I'll be putting down roots here and may live here the rest of my life. Or maybe when we are both retired, we'll move to some place warm. But until then, here we are.
We had Christmas Day dinner at C's cousins' place and it was beautiful, but also low key. C's uncle went to the hospital on Christmas Day, so people seemed to be in a somber mood. I tried to strike up conversations with the women last night, but it was a little tough: maybe b/c I don't have the history or continuity of a regular family member. But I put my best foot forward; I think family members can tell.
C and I are similar in our family situations: both of us are quiet and don't know quite what to say, but we have fun and enjoy learning about one another's family.
On another note: though I was thinking a lot of P, and how badly things ended, I'm also grateful that they ended. She was really negative and complained a lot. That would have just led to more stress during my tail end of wedding planning. And I no longer have time for another single woman who is trauma filled to be in my life. I have C, our kitty, and our MIL to make happy and these other single women, well, they have a lot of issues. Maybe I'm too nice and I enable them? It just no longer feels to good to entertain women who are demanding, needy, and always sees themselves as the victim.
Instead, I now need to pour my heart and soul into my job search and, next, our new phase of becoming foster parents. I'm excited and scared and don't know yet how it will turn out. I think if I talk to other foster parents in the area, it will help.
No comments:
Post a Comment