Week 2..

Just finished week two of my classes at Yonsei University and, boy, do I feel pooped, exhausted, worn, and in the habit of taking daily naps. I don't think I've napped so much since preschool. Well, I have the weekend to recover! Yahoo~ My weekend plans include apartment searching, running, yoga, Korean homework, getting my butt in gear and working on TEFL mods, finally getting into some novels, and some writing, I hope. Gosh, when I put it that way, sounds like I have a lot on my plate...STILL. Hmmmmm.

Just so you know, caring and kind hearted readers, I don't care to blame anyone for my lack of energy, or lack of anything. There is nothing I can do about it but just rest. I'd also like to stop picking at certain hurtful issues, in unconstructive manners, like my skin issues in this blog, too. These signs of deeper issues and past stresses that I'm trying, so desperately, to put behind me. Unfortunately, part of this healing and growing process is not having the energy to partake in objectification in the written sense, which is an entertaining method but it feels a bit too outside of my self-healing. I have my thoughts, emotions, and immediate responses, but what I leave in this blog is dominantly for myself, and not to mock anyone else, or instigate any sort of favoritism. If it seems like I am, I apologize now and am not going to do that here. If you ever feel that I am, feel free to leave a comment and take it up with me personally. I need some distance for these fractures to heal, and I seriously need to do this and with every good intention within me.

My "Body Re-Shaping" goal, which replaced my 2 kilo loss plan, is going. Yes, I can't believe that I can't run for very long. It bores the HECK out of me and my knee starts to ache, but running has always been the easiest way for me to lose weight. :( But pains from an old injury I are looming, and although slight, it's irritating. ANY sort of pain is a pain nonetheless and I ABHOR pain with every cell of my body! I hate pain I hate pain I hate pain! So I decided that what I REALLY want to do is not so much lose weight, but to re-shape my body. Ever since I started off-ice training in high school, I wasn't really happy with the intensive workout and I secretly wished for the body of a ballet dancer - the long, slender legs, poised posture, long neck, and elegant arms. Quite different compared to the stockiness of skaters, with our skater legs and a dense lower body, similar to that of a sprinter. Sigh.

The strangest dreams accompany these naps, like the one with the puppies. :( It was such a disturbing dream that it woke me up and gave me the chills. A looming sense of dread followed and left me feeling like death was hiding somewhere in my room, or just outside my door. It was just awful...

There isn't much drama these days, which is alright with me, but there isn't much excitement, either. I have to do something that perks up my interest sooner rather than later, so I've been thinking about taking a dance class for the summer, besides doing some tutoring as my finds are depleting quickly. Of course the regular 'hobbies' that include painting and drawing are still there, too~

Well, as for apartment searching, I'm going out tomorow with my aunt. But I'm not 100% sure that I want to move out of my place. It's a cozy apartment, besides the dizziness. And I really enjoy living here. :( Just one major drawback, like most things these days... Gomin-i-da.

I guess this summer is to do whatever I want, with the least amount of pain or pressure involved...and I think I deeply need this..