the me and not me

one day, i started double thinking about my friend a WHOLE lot. not just my normal "uh, are you sure??" uncertain voice in my head, but this destructive voice that took everything that was going through one ear, and distorted it as it went out the other end. and, ironically, perhaps it's even contagious. *gasp* i just kept blaming my self, "self self! why are you so mean? why do you wish to harm your friend? could you really want such bad luck to befall upon your friendship? are you being real with your self.. cmon self. be real." and that's how i concluded the double think. "be real, self." and all others were on another side. sigh. well, i often felt like i wanted to say SORRY after the end of each thought, but then i wasn't getting where i wanted it to go, and the disorganization progressed within my mind. what is one to do? maybe i just need to write my self away. go away self.

or, what i should do is just go out and hang out with friends, and my family is around, too~ this is the really great thing about living in Seoul.

when i first got to korea, there was this immediate discussion: WHAT TO DO WITH KIMBERLY'S LIFE? And all of my family members got together to talk about what i was doing in korea, why i'm in korea and what i hope to accomplish. it was all pretty overwhelming and a bit crazy since i was going through some interviews, art class symptoms, and not to mention i felt a bit jet lagged and my skin was going through a cabin air reaction. but it was great talking to my family so much. everyone was really interested and offered a whole lot of opinions on what i should do, and we all worked together to find some solutions. in other words, they took me in and my parents were ready to let me go.

but since i've been in korea, it's difficult for one to stay silent for too long - even for a foreigner who doesn't speak much korean since a lot of people are happy to speak english. it's almost if if you are TOO silent, you just won't cut it, especially as an english teacher. you gotta come up with something to say, and fast. once you get into the groove of things, and find your own pace and group of friends, it's easy to get into some great discussions with people from all walk's of life. of course, i spend most of my talks with people who are interested in languages, but it's an altogether stimulating time.

in other words, you can't get away with being a whangtah, at least for not too long, in seoul. =]

ps!
shout outs! - a nice hang out spot in seoul.
I went to Boheme in Hongdae. ^^ A great chill out place where you can sip on some wine and dip your feet in a nice little pool. That's of course if your in the mood for a little bit of relaxing water, and you're not in the middle of a thunderstorm!
Although we are in the middle of korea's rainy season, this weekend gave us an especially relentless downpour. After a half an hour, there were rains that were not only outside of the place, but inside as well! eek! It's not a reflection about the construction of the place, but just that there were two areas in the canopy where the rain could seep through...but more like..storm through~ The waiter gave me a nice, cozy towel to snuggle up in, and i was on my way to enjoying a night out with some friends.=]