Letting Go

 Last night I let R know that we need a break from living together and that we will revisit in 6 months. And today I woke up feeling amazing! I think the meds are on track and I just feel like a weight has lifted off of me. So I think last night went really well. We talked it out and poured out our hearts and made somewhat of a compromise. So that was really good. I feel much better about my relationship with R. So I'm glad we came to that decision.

I'm getting ready for my trip to Florida, which I fly out of Oakland on Saturday, early in the morning. I'm planning out what to take with me and how to include fluids in my carry ons. I don't want to check anything b/c I hate waiting for my bag at baggage claim and it's too easy for the airline to lose bags. This is all apart of me being a more careful person overall. I think I get this from C. I used to be a huge risk-taker and do things on the fly, but now I'm a much more organized planner and strategic thinker. It's strange and beautiful at the same time how we get better as we age. Of course there is diminishing returns after awhile, but for now I want to be the best version of myself. I want to get ready to be an awesome parent. I think this experience with R made me realize that I can take care of another person. But I don't want to take care of an adult, I want to take care of my own child.