New Normal

 My ED Therapist and I talked tonight. I made a lot of good progress. However, I told her I'm still scared--afraid that it might come back. That the monster would return and take over my body and mind. But it left me about 2 weeks ago. I feel more at peace with myself. But this is new, at least new for the past 3-4 months. 

The monster within

She grips my abdomen, reaching into my stomach

I hear her groan, slowly, rumbling

She pushes my organs side to side, being careful as to not rupture anything

But the more slowly she moves, the more I feel her dominance

She closes my eyes, and I start crying, sobbing and tears

trickle down my face. Hot tears, they pour down

I start to heave and moan with the tears

She backs away, but listens

I say, "Please, just go away," but she stays there

Listening, breathing at slow, steady tempo

My breathing starts to match hers

She speaks, "I'm here; I won't leave you."

"No, you must go; now and forever!" I shout into the sky.