So last night I'm riding the subway. It's still hot here in Korea btw... so hot, damn hot, it's all centigrade here, so I really can't tell you how hot, but it's hot. It's like 90's but the humidity just won't quit. Humidity that just sticks here. makes you sweat... All.... day.... long.
So I'm taking the subway last night back from Samseoung Dong. That's like the financial district of Seoul, but there's alot of department stores, and shopping malls and whatnot. I'm on the subway, and this line of the subway is PACKED. TONS of people, and even though this is the subway line that get the most funding, in terms of keeping their stations nice... e.g. stations on these lines have air conditioning units throughout the platforms.... but regardless, it's still hot. and the platform is packed, and when the train finally arrives. there's tons of people on the train too. I ride that train, packed in there like sweaty hogs going to slaughter, when it finally happens....
There was this woozy looking guy i saw on the platform. Youngish, like late 20's early 30's dressed pretty nice, i'm assuming that he worked at one of the banks around there. When I saw him on the platform the look on his face unfolded the entire story of his evening... A long day at work, probably a 10 or 12 hour work day, very typical for korean culture. Albeit a typical day, long nonetheless, dealing with the usual office bullshit, shitwork loaded on to him by this senior collegues, phone calls from disgruntled clients, not having enoughy time to actually enjoy what he's eating on his lunch break. At around 7:30 he gets a phone call, a friend of his from college, works down the street at a brokerage, same age, similar line of work, same bullshit all day long. He tells him that there's a new place that opened up, it's a pizza joint striaght from america, serving deep dish american-style pizza, and that he a couple other guys they know are going to check it out at around 8:30.
"Do they serve baked potatoe pizza?" he asks. "Of course they do." the friend replies. "All pizza joints have Baked Potatoe pizza".
"Great! I'm just going to finish up this work and get the hell out of here. What's the place called?". "It's called 'UNO's'... Pizzeria UNO'S, it's down by COEX mall, I'll meet you there."
Work like lightning, get it done, doesn't even matter if it's done right, i'll just redo it tomorrow. DONE! BOOM. SLAM. WHOOSH.
Out of the climate controled office, into the climate anarchy of mid-august downtown Seoul, where at 8:25pm it's not exactly hot, but your sweating your ass of anyways. a few blocks north, then a block west, and we are at COEX mall! A haven for the consumption of western or conspicuouly western-styled products, Nike Store, Disney Store, "The FACE Shop" -- where you can buy any kind of scented oil, lotion, creme, or spooge for your face.
Just up a bit more, past the giant interactive floor projection, around the info desk, past the gigantic glass elevator that goes to who-knows where, and voila! Pizzeria Uno's!
At this point, we'll fast forward a bit. We'll fast-forward through the pizza covered in 3 types of cheese, slices of potatoes, bacon chucks, bits of scallion onions and then drizzled over with sour cream sauce, we'll skip over the chicken wings that come in a mound so big that you know it'll going to warrent a stop at the Face Shop. I'll only mention the 8-10 rounds of beer that comes in a 750ml mugs and the 3 bottles of soju that was smuggled in by two of our boys independantly.
We're going to skip over that two-and-a-half hour chuck and skip to when our boys, all red faced and bleary eyed, finally feeling as though they have blown the adequate amount of steam that had been built up throughout their day, focus on their watches or their cell phones and realize that at 11:45pm they have enough time to take their hour long bus or subway ride home, pass out, then wake up just in time to take the hour long bus or subway ride back to be at the office by 8:30am.
Our boys break, stumble their separate ways to which ever mode of transportation they need to take. Our boy, takes the subway. That hot, sweaty subway. crowded with people. when was the last time he's had some water? Damn, it's so hot. He can feel the sweat underneath his shirt roll down his chest to his belly button, "excuse me... pardon me" people push past him to get by the platform. Jesus, it's just so damn hot, and there are so many people here... still tasting the bits of potatoe, mixed with cheese and bacon.....a bump in the shoulder.... Goddam that's one big korean guy... still smelling the soju and beer... Our boy fixes his gaze on beverage machine. 600 won, for a cool refreshing red tea drink.
Chirping Noise, means incoming train. The train stops. The doors open. A wave on people trying to get off the train clash into a wave of people trying to get on the train. Exactly 90 seconds later, the doors close with miraculously every one on the side of the gap that they need to be.
9 Stops to Sadang Station. Sadang station where our boy can transfer to 4 line where he would take that 6 more stops, then get off to jump on the bus waiting for him right out side the station that would take him to a bus stop right in front of a concrete stairwell that he would climb so he could walk across the parking lot to his mother's apartment on the 15th floor.
8 more stops to Sadang. Jesus, there's so many people on the train. everyone swaying back and forth as the train rockets through its tunnel to the next station.
7 more stops to Sadang. My God it's so damn hot in here, underneath his shirt feels like a rainforest. He never did get that tea drink. Aren't these cars supposed to have some damn air con? Ah, they do, just with this many people, it doesn't matter.
6 more stops to Sadang. And then it happens. The girl in front of our boy steps aside for another lady who gets on at that stop. A lady, knowing that the train is going to be packed with people at this hour, on this day. Knowing that all those people would negate the air conditioning units installed in each subway car. Knowing that it would be hot, and crowded, and sticky, she still, as the subway slows to a hault in front of her, freshens up her hairspray.
Now standing in front of our boy on the train, confident that her hair will not be ruined by the 15 minute sauna her train ride will be, she sways with the rest of the passengers as the train continues to rocket through its tunnel making stop after stop after stop.
Somewhere between YakSam and KangNam our train... our train equipped with it's inconsequential air conditioning, packed with people, carrying our boy, with fresh-hairspary-lady swaying in front of him through the hot and steamy tunnels of downtown Seoul South Korea, experiences a bump. A little bump, but a bump nonetheless. A bump that doesn't cause the train to stop, not even register any kind of diagnostic reading on any one of its sensors, but a big enough bump to jostle it's passengers. A bump significant enough cause our swaying passengers to brace themselves. A bump significant enough to cause some of the passengers to shift their weight against their sway. A bump significant enough to cause fresh-hairspay lady, to push her head of hair straight into the face of our young boy only 10 minutes after being on that damn train. 10 minutes, long enough for him to get the contents of his stomach to behave, but short enough to be reminded of how much alcohol mixed with processed dairy he had injested that night when that head of hair gets shoved into his face.
That sweet smelling faintly perfumed scented hair from a distance, turned into two ice-picks being jammed up his nostrils, acrid alcohol that burned his eyes, the scent of hair being held together by a nonstick hold and sweat. Instantly brought back the potates covered with cheese and bacon and scallion onions with some kind of sour cream sauce all cooked ontop of a deep dish pizza crust, the mountain of chicken wings... and the alcohol all that alcohol.
Burning eyes clenched shut. Grasping his rumbling stomach. With one sound, one single, solitary sound ... "GWAK!!!" the crowded train turns into a pond after having a brick tossed in it. All the passengers, rippling away from the epicenter where our boy is now kneeling. His eyes still clentched shut, his arms now hoplessly dangling at either side of him. The entire front of his shirt which was drenched in sweat, is now covered in something that looks like a bag of lucky charms that had been sitting in milk for over three hours in the sun.
5 more stops to Sadang. Jesus it's so fucking hot on this train, and now, it smells bad too.
Good thing I'm like a foot taller than the average Korean person..... I saw the whole thing..... In my mind.
-e-
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