For the Long Term

Just wrote to my pen pal and she asked if we will be here for awhile, and I was like, "Yes! We are here for the long term." But my brain hasn't fully wrapped around that idea: that I will be here until my golden years. Maybe if C passes away before me, I might move to where my siblings are? Not sure, of course, that's like 40 years from now.

But what if I were to look into a crystal ball and see how my life turns out here in M. What would I be like? Will my personality change? Will my values change? I like who I am! I like my identity as a writer. Will I be able to keep that up? As a mother? As a person in a multi-generational family?

Most of my friends with young kids don't write. Well, I know ONE friends who is able to write, but she still bemoans that she doesn't have as much time as she used to. So maybe I should start writing NOW while I kind of have the time, before becoming a parent. 

But first things, first. I need to figure out my job situation b/c I need to be the main borrower. It's moving somewhat fast b/c we have our eye on our dream home. But it hinges on my financial status. I need to get a good, high-paying job, no question. 

However, that's just in short-term. Now let's, try, to think long-term.

Where will I be? East Memphis
Who will I hang out with? Ambitious ladies

What will I be doing? Working, writing, exercising, being a mom, being a wife, being a church-goer.

How will I feel? Less stressed, ambitious, hopeful, positive, optimistic, funny, upbeat

What should I strive to be like? Like my own mother. Healthy, active, happy, and sharp

I suppose it all starts with identity for me. In CA I realized my true self as a writer and part of a vibrant and huge literary community. But I also felt like I was drowning and lonely. Out of a sea of people I would interact with, which was fun and light, I missed an intimate connection. I missed my boo! 

Being near him now is so inspiring. He's always moving, fixing,  organizing, and improving our home. He is ambitious and forward-thinking. I'm so proud of him and I'm so happy I get to sleep with him every night.

Let's just linger there. My joy of being his wife.