-The loss of my intellect - in college, I had a promising first year. But then I joined a sorority and my grades tanked and so did my hope of becoming a doctor. I was made and bitter. But I explored topics and subjects I had never encountered before and probably never will again. My intellect didn't "die" but it evolved. I became more worldly, more learned, read more challenging books. I'm glad I didn't stay pre-med.
-The loss of my identity. Again, when I joined the sorority, pledging was very militant and took a lot of time. I felt lost and sad inside whenever we pledged a class. It wasn't right: the way we treated them.
-The loss of my sanity. With my MI I started to experience strange and wild things, mentally. It was also during a creative burst in my life, which ended up saving my sanity.
-The loss of my father. I loved him so so much. Though I was mad at him, too, mad that, though he was a good father, he was a terrible husband. My mom struggled and fought for her peace for so long. After my father passed away, it was terrible, but a peace come over my family.
-The loss of my interest in the sciences. When I embraced creative writing, literature, I also embraced the arts and humanities at that time. I let go of my interest in the sciences, a loss that actually started in college. But I created different mental connections, and grew as a budding creative writer.
-The loss of a group of friends. When I moved to Oakland from SF, I hung out a lot with the small group of colleagues from grad school that had stayed after our class had graduated and bulk of our colleagues left the bay. We were a gritty, motley crew and had good times together. We later ended some of our friendships, but it was a growth moment.
-The loss of my sanity a second time. This time, it was much more private. I dealt with it alone, and prevailed when I found the right doctors, health classes, and medicines. It saved my live and now I'm thriving.
No comments:
Post a Comment