A Quick One

Running as fast as she could, she slowed down the treadmill, breathing heavy. "I could have done one more mile, I could have done..." repeated her in thoughts. She felt guilty for slowing down, for not pushing through. It wasn't her body that couldn't handle the physical feat that she willed herself through that evening, no, it was her mind, and the negative thoughts on repeat. 

"I could have done more at work, I could have made a healthier dinner, I could have cleaned my house more thoroughly..." -- nothing was every good enough it seemed. Guilt was a friend she knew well. How it it visited her often these days, but everyone around her commented on how well she seemed to be doing.

"You're so much more engaging," one family member said, or "You are so productive," and old friend from college said to her. But it wasn't enough.