The last few days, I felt like my wheels kept spinning, more than they should. Yesterday, I shouldn't have taken SRC, but I did and I felt really exhausted by the end of my day.
Today I woke up excited that it's the weekend, to talk to C, and then go sell some of my old books. Then I walked around the LM area... and honestly? I felt over it. It was a good feeling, like "hey, I don't think I'm going to miss this, actually..." It's all so convenient, but that's b/c I'm used to it.
When I get to M, I want to explode with enthusiasm and opportunity. I want to launch into a new chapter, a better one, a more stable and happy one. I'm actually really looking forward to it now. So strange how much time can change things.
Perhaps it was a blessing that S said they won't allow me to go to MS. I think it helped me to shift to the surrounding circumstances and see what else was possible. It's actually better than I thought b/c I'll be able to save more by living with C, I think. It will also allow for change to take place. It's a good thing, I think.
The only fly in the ointment is C's umma. Will she stay nice to me? At least his appa is no longer with us, in a kind of good way. Not so so good, but only good b/c it would have been tough for me and C to be together.
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