C has been here for a couple of weeks now and I've learned so much about him and myself. I learned that I need to soften to help him feel safe. I used to get somewhat demanding and that was stressful for him. I get it. I now know what it's like to be on the other side of a demanding person and how stressful and non-understanding it feels.
I know I can make delicious, creative, and healthy meals. Cooking for C brings out the good in me: the cooking for another person, the way to talk carefully and yet honestly. Noticing the other person's reactions to things with a perspective of self-awareness.
He gets a lot more playful and happy when he feels safe. He's doing a good job being in a foreign city to him and he is doing a lot to help. I'm so grateful.
The decision about moving to M is decided, as long as work will let me. It feels good to talk it out with C, and I'm glad we did that in person. So much can be lost through a phone conversation. It's better to talk about meatier things in person. I'll wait to move forward with our talks about adoption. One step at a time, give and take, we'll get there.
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