It's Father's Day today. I think of my heavenly father who is now an angel looking over me and my family. He's been gone since November 2009. It's been a while. I didn't really, fully grieve his death at the time he passed away, maybe b/c I was just getting used to psych meds, although the funeral did give some closure. I remember my nieces sobbing into their parents' bodies, unable to stop. I watched them and felt so sad for them. They expressed a deep sadness at such a young age, that I felt my sadness through theirs.
People from all walks of life came to my dad's viewing. Even old friends from my figure skating days came and gave their condolences. I was so grateful to each and every one of them. It felt like such a huge act of kindness to come and remember my dad along with my family members. My sister gave a eulogy at the viewing. My brother gave a eulogy at the funeral ceremony at my childhood church.
But we moved on, miraculously. I'm not sure how, but my family--my mom, brother, sister, and even I, we bonded and became closer. My mom seemed freer, more content in her newfound independence. Although at the time, she was still busy with her restaurant. We were all busy. I was in an MFA Writing program, my brother took over ownership of our family restaurant and brought to new heights. My sister was knee-deep in her career, excelling more and more every year.
It makes me think of what family means, how I've been blessed with a family who is quietly supportive of me, even if they don't always agree with my decisions. My dad was always so supportive of me, whatever I chose to do, and never ceased to dote upon me. I loved him fully, wholly, with my whole being. I've never really written a tribute of him since his death; I now kind of act weird around deaths, like I can't face them, like they aren't real. But today I remember my dad, and how much we all loved him.
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