Yesterday I got a root canal. I talked to my family the day before and expressed my anxieties about it, how I was worried it might hurt. But when I actually got it done, I felt comfortable and in a zen-like state as it was happening. The real pain came afterwords, after the numbing solution wore off. And I was super hungry as I was trying not to eat so much b/c the nerve pain from the dying nerve underneath the crown was getting to be too much. Can't believe I endured 2 whole weeks of nerve pain! Omg it was so painful. But now my mouth feels so much better. I'm so grateful of Dr. G.
But it was a kind of "practice" of my pain tolerance for my upcoming hemmorhoid surgery that I have scheduled in September. I feel confident that I have a high pain tolerance. I'm trying to get C to fly over to help me during that time. He said he would but had to check with his business partner.
I also feel really great about food and my thoughts around it. Especially after going back on brand L, my hunger and fullness cues have greatly stabilized. I think I'm going to kick the ED to the curb! I've had long periods of normalcy, but I think, with the amount of support I'm getting from K, I'm on the right track.
Now I just have to get a in a regular rhythm of cooking at home. Not only to eat healthy, but to save money at the same time. I think the universe is trying to teach me a lesson with financial management: I have to cut down on expenses the next few months in order to pay for my medical and dental costs. I know I can do it and I feel excited at this change in mindset. I've told myself, when I get a food craving, instead of impulsively going to a restaurant, go to TJ's instead and buy something "fun" to eat. I feel excited about this change in habit and mentality. It's going to be a fun summer.
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