Time to Walk the Walk

I'm not sure what to make of this little blogsphere of mine these days.

Is it a diary? Is it creative writing? Is it memoir? Or is it a historical account of my life? Or even a body cavity search of how I'm thinking, feeling, experiencing, and expressing.

I think and feel that it's all the above!

I'm happy to see my blog change, and go through such phases, mimic-ing my real life in many ways. But also, not mimic-ing in any way, and acting as an escape, too. It helps me, through and through, I've decided finally. It helps me to think clearer, feel more resolved, feel at peace, and feel that I have a space to proclaim myself even.

I've decided, too, that the idea of natural medicine and becoming a practitioner, one day, has saved my life! I don't care what people think of natural medicine, I have my own doubts, too. But I know that its intentions are to help, to heal, and to do no harm--teneants that I have always lived by, ever since I was a young girl.

My father was a doctor, and my mother was intensely passionate about living healthy and the benefits one can receive from the foods we eat. Together, they have definitely encouraged my thoughts on the body, health, and wellness. I've cultivated this wonderous space for myself that has also, likewise, evolved. I wondered, questioned, searched, lost all, and then found this spring, proverbial "fountain of youth"--which springs forward newness in my life, momentum, a greater purpose than anything I've ever believed in before. I don't really know if I'll ever become a doctor, but the philosophies in the medical community speak to me, deeply.

In any case, ethically I've been challenged at various times in my life. Sure, I questioned whether or not I was being "too nice", and whether I was being "cool enough". But, then, what gnawed at me were these principles, budding at the time, that told me that something better was on the horizon. To not feel defeated by disappointment, confusion, and a lost sense of self; instead, to feel that something better was out there for me, somewhere, someplace, and at some time.

I finally feel that I'm at a stopping point. A plateau. A safe space. I feel comfortable, and comforted by my life phase. It's the first time in a long time I've been able to say this.