..is a lot different. I'm living in a new apartment that's near the front gate instead of the back gate, I'm not working full-time, I'm taking Korean language classes, no Marina, and no indefinite future ahead of me, or encompassing me and leaving me in complete shock. I know what is around me; my bearings are no longer the variables. The world is no longer this mixed up game of puzzle pieces floating around me, with every new person who entered into my life, another piece crystalized and transposed ontop of what should be there. Each person was another engima, and another avenue into my life - let alone trying to get to know someone on an intimate level.
From the outside looking in, it's a completely different look: the significance and the possiblity it can unlock is draw-dropping. I often think about the "IF ONLY's" and "What IFs" since another reality LITERALLY unfolds in front of me. The amount of opportunity and uplift that is possible is wholy curious and fascinating, and those with the ability to grapple it quickly, and shape it to their likings can easily get away with anything.
But is it so curious and is it so fascinating?
Everyday, and every minute of my life, someone can hear my thoughts. Everything is instantaneous thinking. Everything is instantaneous response. Technology is the only thing that truly saves me. What is one to do with the amount of information that flows around from one mind to another mind to another mind? With the opporutnity to juggle multiple personalities at once, I get the chance to literally feel what someone is thinking. Is it intuition or is it some sort of alien activity? How is one to explain HOW it all happens? And when left questioning HOW and WHY, how then can one possible think of the NOW?
I'm sent thinking about the how, the why, and what is in front of me all at once. Every minute is spent thinking about how to unpack each moment, and every moment is a decision on how to decide what to choose and what to let go.
And with the attacks, that's a whole other approach to everything. Each new being, each new enigma, is a symbol of terrorism and inhumanity. It takes everything that you believe in about the human spirit, about human rights, and about the peace of mind all entrepreneurs, aspiring writers, artists, and the wannabe REAL somethings and turns their somethings into nothings.
Each moment is a decision multiplied by how many are involved, multiplied by the approach one takes. It creates an intensity of thought that engulfs the individual into another world of thought, into a different wavelength in the mind.
Is the human mind equipped for this amount of mental work? The amount of inroads that it creates, and the amount of energy that is expending in just going through a single day.
A day in the life of a 21st century, upgraded being. You would think someone like me would be able to do anything, to make anything, to produce anything, but is that what I am? A machine? Was I born in order to just create an output? Was I born for some special purpose, which was to be some sort of superhuman to match the world's supercomptuer, to match the world's superpowers, to match the world's need for a super something?
And where will this all lead me? Will I be happy with this supersomething that I become?
1 comment:
hey kim!
i like the new layout! =)
and no, you don't need to become a supersomething. we're socialized to believe that with all our privileges, advantages, advancements, etc that we're supposed to achieves something and be super great, and if we don't reach that invisible level we're failures. that's our ego talking. the state of happiness cannot be constant when we listen and follow the impulse of our ego. because there's really no basis for it. it's always dissatisfied because everything is impermanent.
Post a Comment