what a title...disgusting, isn't it?
just the thought of facing the insides of a toliet bowl day after day, and the sounds of up-chucking meals you ate 20 minutes previous is enough to make anyone quit. but did i? no.
what drove me to it? what made me go through years of bulimia? and later years of physical discomfort compounded with bowl movement disorders, skin disorders, and the inability to metabolize food at normal rates, which was then compounded with familial issues, tensions within my peer groups and over working myself throughout college.
sometimes i wonder how i even graduated from umich in 4.5 years.
but then, how did i even survive with my driving record?
skeletons in the closet?
i think so.
mental strains, pressures, inability to find a firm ground with trusted friends, dealing with slanderous/malicious remarks, exacerbated by personal stories brought to life via over attachment to classroom subjects...(and for a poli sci major, that isn't so healthy). all this and a gulity conscious that said that i had to deal with it alone, that i had i couldn't tell anyone how i felt, perhaps i didn't even know how i was really feeling since it was all happening at once and i was doing things, trying things for my first time. what was a first-timer to understand?
cultural clashes, mysterious family members, lingering attachments to an ex, and pushing myself to become a 'professional'- the lawyer or doctor who was to carry on my family's success, especially since my two older siblings successfully side-tracked the typical asian american parents' dream. it was all on me, and of course i could do it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment