am i living life in the fast lane? art classes, teaching, korean language classes, shopping on the weekends, site-seeing, traveling to different cities on high-speed trains? eat good, dress good, talk good, sleep good...feel good?

am i treating my friends the way i should? emails, aims convos, msn, skype, gtalk, blogger, gather, facebook? call and i'll pick up, text and i'll answer, talk and i'll laugh? manners good, smile good, body good, stuff good

i dont think i've ever felt so many different eyes on me, so many different voices around me, and so many different languages coming at me, reacting from me, hiding away from me, hiding in me and i just wonder where is it all going? why is it happening? when will it stop? how long do i have to hold it in? will it be cleansed away once again...i feel it holding in, and why should it hurt..does it have to hurt? am i going to get used to suppressing the pain
am i complaining?
am i whining?

i want to laugh, whole-heartedly
i want to talk and not avoid what i really feel
i want to question and not avoid what i really want to question
w