I am not the present

I am singing in the streets of New York City. Of people acting out of character to fulfill a girl's dreams of the Big Apple. I am the welcoming committee of some weird existence no one could ever put the right words to. I am the boyfriend who tried to woo you into being my ex-girlfriend. I am the stories that poured out of my heart to make everyone feel better. I am the lonely girl that had no friends in college. I am the person who tried to make the right decisions. I am the one who was amazed by your beautiful words. Cherished and admired, I cheered for you.

I am also the phase of "see this, this is what happened to me," experiments. Of the big scene changes, when one world ended and an other world began. The abuse that came with the mental transitioning from old to new to old again. I am the voice that keeps on wondering. I am the soul that keeps praying for peace. I am the girl who wished to become a doctor to heal the sick. I am Kimberly, the beautiful queen of all that is good in the world.

I am the one who cares when people are ill and when it is outside of their control. I am the one who watches while the Earth shakes, falters, and loses complete control. I am the witness to your demise, to your death and fatal end. I am the girl who weeps for your country. I am the one who panics over one wrong word that is spoken in your private mind. I am the one who never won an argument. I am the girl who says sorry to your people for 4 months straight. I am the girl who will eat my last words. I am the one who does bad things to you in your paranoid perception, but tries to tell you that it wasn't what it was but some strange worry that I don't understand.

I am the one worrying for your future, for your safety, for your health, your mind, and your well being. I am not the enemy. I am not evil energy trying to hurt you. I am not trying to make you go away, or force you to leave, or make you stop doing what is natural to you. I am not the one for you. But I will always go the distance. The end.