Planning, planning, planning.
I'm sitting in the Delta Sky Lounge, where I enjoyed a hearty breakfast, decaf coffee and lemon/lime infused water. It's so spacious and comfortable here, though I'm at a wobbly table. But I chose it b/c it's next to an outlet.
I feel like my life has come full circle. I felt so embraced by C's family again and had a really good time getting to know them. I also had a wonderful time talking to C's mother during my breaks during the work day. It was actually really comforting having someone around to briefly talk to and I didn't feel lonely.
I've felt lonely for so many years, but my heart was so full when I was with C. I can't explain it: I felt calm, relaxed, and maybe even really happy.
It's a different happiness that I feel in M than in SL. In SL, I've worked hard to make myself happy, but it's somewhat of a selfish happy where I'm only thinking of myself. But being around families, like A's boys, or meeting with J+F, I feel a different type of happiness that I haven't felt before. I kind of had a taste of it while teaching writing to children. I knew then that I wanted to become a parent one day. I've known for a long time that I want to one day become a mother and wife.
C is getting excited about the wedding plans. So are my sis and mom. Even while my sis scolds me, I can tell she is really excited too. She doesn't show her underlying emotions so easily. She's a tough one but loves playfulness and laughter.
For our trip to D, C asked me a lot of questions on how to better interact with my family. I think it worked out well that I met his family first and he saw how much I tried to impress and be on good behavior and meet everyone.
We are in for a tough 2025, with our job uncertainty. I hope I'm able to stay at S for a long time. But even if they won't let me move, I'll be okay with that too.
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