I had a serene look into my crystal ball this morning. It was awesome; and a peaceful, content and most wholesome feeling come into my body and mind right after. My restless soul was finally at peace with itself. The missing pieces I have been feeling, at least since grad school, are finally coming into place.
What started the whole crystal ball moment was an innocent curiosity of wondering what prices are like for buying a home in my current Lake Merritt area. It's not too shabby! About half a million for a 2-bedroom home with a garage at that! What a fantastic deal, in my opinion.
Another thing that I realized after looking into my crystal ball is that I'm prioritizing one day becoming a mother, perhaps a mother of two, I hope. I'm already 34 and my Facebook feed is rife with photos of newborn babies--no longer rife of newlyweds--instead, of family pics of 2 married adults and now 2 children in tow! I can't believe my eyes sometimes. But it makes me truly fond of the next few phases that are upcoming in my life.
The past 10 years have been, at the least, horrible. A totally, utterly miserable phase of my life. Learning of a new human evolving technique, being followed by people for unknown reasons, having strange experiments done to my thoughts, and 4 years of constant criticism and negative self talk. Between those moments, I have uncovered a bipolar diagnosis and began my search for a "perfect" medicine, as well as began my understanding of this popularized mental illness. I'm in love with my mental illness currently; I'm glad I am accepting of it, at least right now.
TBC
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