rewind

it's amazing how much i took something like
going to the movies
for granted

last monday, i was supposed to see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind with my class but we ended up just going to the printers. since then, i've sort of been thinking about this movie, and the idea of playing with one's memory (dont ever do it). but didn't you ever wish you could erase things from your memory? tell yourself what a HUGE mistake it was to date so-and-so (of course immediately after the relationship. months later, you realize how stupid it is to hold onto such aggression or let it default into some sort of grudge). but is living with the memory of someone so awful that one must resort to.... steps to erase one's memory?

i think i really enjoyed the movie b/c it ironically shows how easily one would like to believe that if only we could do that to our memories.. yet, in reality (with our very real human emotions and attachments) how it is so wrong to think that it would not have negative consequences and perhaps it's better to change how we feel about it, rather than change the actual memory itself

**
how did it get to this point?
who is this person staring at me
..in this mirror..
she grazes her own checks as if they were not her own
in shear amazement at the huge red welts that overwhelm her face
underneath them
she sees tears well in the corner of her eyes
holding there
but do not fall

how does someone wake up in this state
why didn't anyone say anything?
who would look at her now
if she couldn't even look at herself...

shattered
the mirror breaks
never care about the image again
is that the solution