Therapy Session 1: When I Though Writing Was Fun--A Catharsis

Dear Doctor,

This is interesting to me, as I have somewhat lost my passion for writing these days. I think? I'm not sure what it is, but I think I hide it a little, as a self-identifying writer now. I feel shameful saying that I'm working on my writing to my friends and people that meet me for the first time, too, when in reality I don't write every day. I tend to write when "inspiration hits." But I hoping that this will change, my writing schedule that is. I'm hoping that my financial stability will positively affect my life phase, and therefore my ability to take to write and think, without life pressures.

When talking to writing with others, I'm lucky that I have a circle of writer friends from graduate school, and the Bay Area poetry scene. I feel good about my relationship building that has occurred after 4 years of going to readings every weekend!

But, then, I actually try not to talk about my writing to my family too much, as I feel it makes them feel confused, worried, or even cynical of writing itself. Not that it is "bad" for me, and not that it's not "good" for me. It's not really an ethical stance that they take with writing, and a writer's life. I think my family just see me as something else, or that my identity is better suited for some other craft, profession, or life path. Maybe they know something I don't... huh...

I think they see me as a doctor, actually. My father was a doctor. A very passionate, smart, and dedicated doctor. Somewhat of a workaholic, but many Asian parents AND Baby Boomer-parents were workaholics. So an Asian-Immigrant-Baby Boomer? Damn. Hard work was what re-created the American Dream in my youth. The revival that occurred in Asian America that all the writers in Asian American writings talk about, in my opinion.

So, bottom line? I think I actually see myself as a doctor, at least in my future. Maybe 10 years from now. I'm okay with thinking about it now. It's a long ways aways, but it motivates me. A lot. It inspires me. It brings out the best in me. It makes life worth living. It energizes me. I feel altruistic, and altruism at its best. The best of the best.

So what makes me feel like a writer? I think this blog does. Yeah. When I first started this blog, and blogging every day during one summer in South Korea, I actually garnered a lot of attention from other writers, or wannabe identifying writers, or even writers-in-the-closet types. Hehe. I love that definition, or label. It's a fun one.

Gratefully yours,
Kimberly