hmm... i've been feeling a bit hallow over the past couple of days
I dont think it's anyone's fault, really
just a fact of circumstance. Is this what woraholicism is in another country? Where things slip through my understanding, and I'm getting too tired to try to absorb it all. Does that mean I'll be washed over with images and nothing is sinking in? Perhaps that's where the hallowness begins. Eventhough I reach out for meaning, perhaps there are basic skills that I still feel like I must review, more like repair
I used to feel like I needed to wipe my slate clean. But was that really the mindset that I wanted? In actuality, since I started teaching and meeting new people in Korea, it's been quite the opposite: while conversing with new people, relating myself to teaching lessons, I've been given the opportunity to look back on my past - my studies, my schooling, my hometown, the way I was brought up... questions that were never really talked about in college with my friends, interesting (or sadly) enough.
In college, we were busy doing things in the now... meetings, tests, exams, homework, class, more class, the library, cafes, independent learning and supposedly team work on projects
As much as I 'worked with groups' in college, I feel like I'm REALLY working with someone this time..but it's not really work, which is both what I was hoping for, wishing for, but then it blurs what is actual 'work' what is actual living, and then the time for letting go
Perhaps I already need another vacation, and not simply time in a hospital to appreciate life just b/c my appendix was about to burst?
Well, work is not really work, so I'm grateful for that. Teaching is engaging, although it sucks out the breath of life out of me.... ARt classes are challenging since I was never 'taught' photoshop, and into computer design programs, or how to mix oils, or how to formulaically approach a painting
Talking, language, and words... since arriving in KOrea, I still FEEL much more than I did back in Michigan
So I suppose I'm headed in the right direction
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