Hunger and Fullness Cues

 I've been sick for a long time. 

For 20 years. Ever since I was 19 years old, living in Betsey Barbor.

I hid it in secrecy, an invisible cloak I surrounded myself under.

Under the shame and desperation for change. A change that wouldn't really arrive, not until I would be fully healed and liberated from the sickness.

But when will the first day of freedom come? Has it already happened, but I was too preoccupied to notice it? I wonder what it will feel like, I anticipate it, wanting it like a longer for a lover who I haven't seen in years.

My body aches. It's like standing outside in the cold, with sharp winds blowing. It hurts and my thought slowly unravel, my hair wips around me. My hand gently wipes the wisps away.

I close my eyes. I feel my heart beating. It's with my third eye that I see into the future. I know it can happen.

I sink into the depths of the river, the current moving me along. But there is a drop and I sink further and further. Will anyone save me? Or will I drown, alone and dying in the water.

Someone dives in, straight to me. They take my hand, my waist, and pull me up. I reach the surface and gasp for air. It's hope, my savor. The water has shed away the pain, the sickness no longer surrounds me.

The daylight breaks through the clouds. A beam shine upon me. I feel the warmth. I'm alive and I am free.