it's been a long long time

how much i've missed you. i can't get over it
i didn't want to touch this space b/c i felt that this, too
would be taken over. what am i fighting for...
what am i waiting for...

this morning i woke up and got myself prepared for the day. i just wanted to see who i wanted to see and get through this day like any other.

this crap..i can't write in here. not freely
i can't touch this anymore
there is a distance and i have to do something about it
but why do i always have to do something about it
am i that sensitive to touch
the slightest touch and i'm sent off reeling
or do i turn myself into stone
protect me
i dont want to feel

why not someone to catch me when i fall
falling into a soft, gentle abyss
an abyss that is full of sweet emotion, yearning and
complete passion

instead of a bottomless, empty or half-filled heart

let's turn this into the mundane
when these emotions start to fly off into this abyss
perhaps there is safety in the ordinary and mundane
mundane rings with an irritating ring that just plops at the bottom of a bucket
but what if were to bounce back and turn into a rubber ball
the type that one squeezes to relieve stress

i need to get one of those